it's rare that I have no words. i always have words. C gets that trait from me. however, today, i really have no words...well, maybe i have a ton, but, they are swirling all around that i can't quite grasp them or my true emotions other than sadness...and a reality of how good i have it...how little i actually have to complain about. so often i don't understand the why of loss and pain in so many people's lives...like, why did kelly have to die and leave her daughter, same age as C, here on earth? or why did my sweet heather and duncan have to lose baby hope...and why are they still struggling with having a little one when so many teens and drug addicts get pregnant daily? or why did my childhood best friend have to be yoked in marriage to such an angry man? why couldn't he be just as happy as she?? why did Gavin have to go and join the Lord and leave his best friend?...no one i know has a marriage as authentic and beautiful as theirs was. Why did the rebels have to take little nancy's parents lives right in front of her eyes and leave her an orphan? why? why so much pain in the world? we cannot understand God's reasoning behind so many things, and we may never understand this side of heaven. I will never claim to understand it, but, I do know that God is sovereign in everything, and God doesn't always cause the pain...
everyone has a story. everyone has a well-worn pair of shoes, that, until we set our feet in them and walk their path, we don't realize how much more comfortable or supportive our shoes actually are...or how the path we are on isn't all that treacherous until we've been given a glimpse of the path another has been set on.
it's times like these, times when we read stories like Austin and Terri's that we realize how good we have it. So what if grass + grasshopper filled cans are scattered all over every free space in my house...i had the privilege of watching T chase the grasshoppers around the parking lot flat on his belly with a look of pride after each capture. Who cares if the kids didn't eat the fruit in their lunchboxes...at least we had the money to buy fruit, and at least I packed it for them. So what if the laundry isn't done...I had the joy of watching my children frolic in those clothes and get them all dirty. So what if the dishes are piled up, I still hear the voices of my sweet family as we enjoyed those meals together this morning (and yesterday morning and the evening before that...yeah yeah, i need to do dishes)...so what if the house is filthy....the books/shoes/toys scattered all around won't always be all around. It doesn't matter that the kids are sometimes naughty, that not all of our relationships in life are perfect....life is precious...life is too short...please join me in reading Terri, Austin, and Jake's story...and let's cover them in our prayers as they set out on a journey that is much harder than some of ours: