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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

dwellings


i've been struggling, for years, with where home is.
home is where the heart is.
where is that?
i'm pretty sure i've even written these same exact words more than once in this blog.
i was thinking about "home" today...
honestly, in my heart it exists in bits and pieces of everywhere we've lived and everyone whose been a part of it...home exists in the family we've created...the people who really get close and know us deep down, who are willing to step in and be a part of our village...we've been so blessed to have so many people come into our lives and become a part of our little family just when we needed them. 
I am often so envious of my friends who have the perfect little family/extended families who can accept each other and exist so well together as a community...but not all families are perfect...not all families are functioning...not all families exist as a family other than blood relation.  and that's ok too.   God creates family in other people.  In other places than the place we were often raised to call "home."
I was thinking about this concept of home today, when I read: "Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations." Psalm 90:1
Home is. God.
not here. not the last place we lived. or the one before. or the one before that. not the place of our childhood. not the place where we met. not the place we lived the longest. 
home is in God. Suddenly, "home is where the heart is," takes on a whole new meaning to me, with this verse...
b/c in my heart, home is a giant collage of people and places, and faces, and milestones and memories, and numerous houses, and friends, and holidays, and trips, and songs, and smells, and sights, and sounds, and churches...it's little Polaroid snapshots of this decade of us...
home isn't the place of my childhood, as many often refer to one's home as...that statement alone, always puzzles me, "are you so glad to be home?" or "you are always welcome home," what does that mean? b/c we are in our 30's and our world, our home, isn't as simple as the place we grew up and the people who raised us.  in fact, the word home never conjures up visions of any of that. no offense to you, mom and dad.  but, i think I'm starting to get it.  maybe. for this split second.  HOME is found when dwelling in Him.  and that's it.  It's not a location, or even a physical family.  It's Him. It's the people He gives you community and communion with...it's the people who come alongside you and become your village, who make you a better you, and love you with only a love that Christ could love you with.  I have so many amazing people who will forever make up home in my heart...from every season, and into the next, where ever that takes us.  It isn't easy to move around, it's even harder when you don't have the foundation of supportive extended family (you know, that "home" to come "home" to)...but, it's during those seasons of new and scary and lonely places, that God draws us close to Him, that He provides us with human grafted family to lean on...and He strengthens our little brood. 
Home, to me, is my sweet husband and my two babies...and then, it's all these memories and all of these people inbetween.  it exists in the little nest God has created for me.
there's this sweet graphic poster that states "home is where you are." to be honest it is.  i quite like the home God has given me.

2 comments:

  1. Friend...amen and amen. I'm so glad to see that you've updated your blogging life. I've missed you. I've missed these beautiful glimpses that God's giving to you. Thank you for sharing. I'm grateful that the Lord is drawing you nearer to His heart; this HOME. Love you girl!

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  2. Thanks so much, Steph! I've missed you too!!! it's been way too long! CANNOT believe how big your little man is getting!
    love to you and yours! xoxo

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