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Monday, September 27, 2010

the cutest little debate team captain...


Being a parent has taught me alot about the nature of God, our Heavenly Father...now, let me get this straight: i am in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM comparing myself to God...it's just that God is our ultimate example of what a parent should look like and I realize daily how I fall short!! God's children are way more rebellious than mine, way "meaner" to their siblings than mine are, way more hurtful toward Him than mine are to me...and He accepts them with open arms...



He says "...All day long I have held out my hands to a disobedient and obstinate people" romans 10:21 & Isaiah 65:2...when I picture Him standing there waiting for me, His child, with open arms, I do not picture him shaking his head or wagging his finger at me...He is simply waiting for me! and, I ask myself, do I do that for my children? It seems to me that God's nature, as our parent, never changes...and yet, my nature as a parent changes based on the condition of my child's behavior. More often than not, I am sure I use the "I told you so," line, I allow my babies emotions to affect mine, and I do not in any way resemble my true example of a parent. Wowsas...how many times have I let God down? how many times have I been unkind to my brother or sister? how many times have I been his disobedient and obstinate child? and, not once does He sit and lecture me on why my actions were wrong...no, He lets me learn on my own, and He gently guides me.



LOL so, I was blessed with a child that could be labeled "strong willed," however, I prefer spirited b/c she probably gets the "spirit" from me. I have often told myself over the years that God has to have HUGE plans for a little one with such strong opinions...C loves to argue...lol...im so not kidding she actually argued with me in her sleep last night!! it's not really in my or matt's nature to enjoy arguing...the two of us don't sit and debate about things, so, I don't think this is a learned trait...but, C, she could debate ALL day long and at times it feels like she looks for ways to argue.



me: "look at the beautiful blue sky,"



C: "umm...the sky is NOT blue!! it's baby blue."



I'll admit that i've met some adults like this and it totally freaks me out and I probably over parent out of fear of C turning out like them...but, my dear friend pointed out the other day that we take too much credit as parents for our children's failures and their accomplishments when really we are just there to guide these little creations who have their own free will...and then, I am reminded of how God waits for me...how He allows me to choose and make mistakes, and how He loves me faults and all. As I sat praying for my little debate team captain this morning, I felt renewed as I realized that my sole responsibility isn't to stop the debate or to even join in as the opposing team, but to simply love like God does...to cover them in prayer, and to gently guide her (and my little guy too) because God does have big plans...even if those big plans are simply a head full of lovely silver hair...to which C will reply "it's not silver, it's grey," lol just kidding.



Tuesday, September 14, 2010

keri

I've prayed for the words to honor Keri on my blog tonight, but I've found it's easier to distract myself with pix of my new boots, T's first soccer practice of the season and the excitement of knowing a few fellas on the team, or with reading kids library books, organizing piles and piles of paperwork, and even cleaning C's room with her all before bedtime. It's amazing what one can do to not think about something.
My aunt Keri died this morning. A double homicide, in fact. Crazy, I know. Never expected that to happen...never in a million years. I pictured her growing old with my uncle...and I mean really old...she had her first child super young...she's younger than some of my best friends...whoa...she's younger than some of my best friends. I am not even sure what to say to honor her. While her final hours were tragic and rather unbecoming, her life was not that...she was a mommy to two children, she carried and delivered them, she probably rocked them to sleep during the wee hours of those sleepless baby years, she diapered, hugged and kissed, she probably worried, and loved them the best she knew how. She was a mom. She was a wife. She was a person with a soul...and in a single moment her life on earth vanished. Keri was at a party. Keri, who seemed to have it together, slipped and now she is gone.

Kayli and Jake, I am so sorry your mom had to leave you. She loved you both. She loved you so much and only wanted the best for you.
Hyde I am sorry Keri is gone. I am sorry for all that you have been through, for this rough road you have been placed on.

"He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and
rampart" ps 91:4

"when you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."
Isaiah 43:2

my cute little feet

ohmygoodness ladies and gents check out these cute new boots i just got...who knew that real snow-wear could be so darling? AND they are warm...not only do these babies keep my feet dry, apparently they can keep my little tootsies toasty to negative four degrees too.
I absolutely cannot stand winter or cold weather...I love to look at snow and it's absolutely perfect falling on the eve of my fave holiday, Christmas...but, I just really don't like it...perhaps it's because I got my fair share of it, growing up in a state with two seasons: winter and July/August. Even in our warm state last year, it snowed a ton!! but...now that these bad boys have arrived in my shoe closet...I kinda wish for snow so I could sport them. I tried to pair them with a darling little pinstripe dress today and some knee socks...yeah, I was sweating. I am sure I'll find a way to wear them....they are the cutest. For your own pair click here: http://www.zappos.com/bogs-alex-black-solid?zfcTest=prodPage2a:0 OH and did I mention the adorable polka dot ribbons that came with them??!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

seriously adam, why??


thanks a million to adam sandler for ruining my children's music taste...

noooooo, rock me amadeus isn't a bad song...but, seriously...on repeat on the ipod, in the car, in the kitchen, as a bribe to eat breakfast...madness!! and NOW, it's on repeat in my head!!

adam seems to like to insert good ole bands like styx and falco into his movies (spelling? i wouldn't know...i was born in 1980 and probably couldn't spell their name OR was too busy listening to debby gibson lol, did i actually admit that?)...and, for those of you who haven't seen bedtime stories half a million times like me, he jams out to "rock me amadeus" in the film...and now, T is in love with the darn song!! OH, that and JOURNEY!!! seriously, adam, are you kidding me?? what are you doing to my kids??

here is the list of downloads for sunday:

1901-phoenix

lisztomania-phoenix

animal-neon trees

AND

ROCK ME AMADEUS!!! -falco

with a ten minute begging session that I also PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE download journey!! holy cow, you're killing me, adam sandler!!

LOL however, RockMeAmadeus does cause both kids to break out in dance where ever they are...it's absolutely HILARIOUS!!! i am going to try and film it (on my ipod...did you know that my ipod has a video camera?! genius!!!) and post it next time those kids of mine are playing RMA...which will be the minute we get home from school tonight, lol.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

joining the MG club


*each Monday (yes, I realize it's Tuesday...but, let's pretend today is Monday) one of my dearest friends, Brooke (ok, so we've never met...but we've read each other's blogs so therefore we know each other's deepest darkest secrets and we've met the fam via web postings...and she manages to crack me up regularly, so seriously, I think she counts as a friend), hosts a mommy guiltaholic meeting for all of us imperfect mamas out there...i decided to join the meeting today, on Tuesday...yes, a day late...and yes, timeliness isn't one of my stronger sides, but that's not what we're discussing in today's MG meeting...

more changes have taken place in our lives...so, of course, my mind is spinning (only not for real this time...thanks to dramamine lol...totally kidding...kinda)...change is hard, freaking hard, if i do say so myself. i guess you could say that our family takes it with stride, and i must say a HUGE round of applause is due my sweet children...i can totally deal with the stress of packing/loading/cleaning/house-hunting/ new mommy cliques...but to have to be a kid again and to have to make ALL NEW friends in another new city...that's rough...and I can't say I blame my sweet babies if they resist at all...
today, both C and I shed a couple of tears...missing our last "home" or at least the familiarities of it...C was trying to be so brave and not cry and I told her that it was totally okay to cry, cry away in fact, b/c i cry too. she looked at me, shocked, as if that fact was news to her...grownups cry and miss friends too...the poor little thing...
of course this made me think of many things...like:
1)how many of us grown-ups pretend our hurts don't hurt? and why? what on earth does acting tough do for us, other than shoving emotions deep down only to surface in an eruption down the road? haha, isn't that why half of america is on anti-anxiety pills or anti-depressants or seeing a therapist? which, by the way, seeing a therapist is fabulous...I can't wait for my friend steph to psychoanalyze me once she finishes classes!!
and 2) holy cow!! what have i done to my sweet children?? have we screwed them up?! of course this question surfaces ALL of the time...it has for many moves...but mostly during the past couple of years...(C is on elementary school #5 and T is on #3)...and then, of course it surfaced as I was chatting with my dear old dad today and he very kindly and realistically compared C to a military kid, suggesting that our number of moves might be worse...oh man...make a girl feel like checking herself into a mommy-guiltaholic meeting(wink wink Brooke)...but, then, after beating myself up for the afternoon, i realized...i didn't write my children's story (nor my own for that matter)...and I won't ever write their story...sure decisions matt and I have made/will make may shape their raising, it may shape how they turn out...like whether they become surfers rather than skiers, or horseback riders rather than bike riders...but, none of our past, nor our future will ultimately make or break my child. God gently reminded me that He loves and cares for my children more than I...yeah, it completely sucks to move, to have to say goodbye to friends and loved ones, to have to adjust to an entirely different culture (and yes, entirely different cultures exist ALL over this vast country of ours)...sometimes the adjustments have definitely been so hard that I've wanted to return to a place of familiarity (only to visit and find out that it has changed along with the rest of the growing world)...I realize that God does have a plan in all of this craziness that is our life...He is writing the story of my babies lives...like a beautifully knitted piece or stitched quilt, he is purposefully knitting in a patch of color...one that w/o it, the entire piece wouldn't be the same. SO, I've realized this evening that, we've got to let go of our mommy guilt...those sleepless nights recounting all of the ways we've messed up that day, or those spent over bubble wrap and cardboard boxes contemplating how one little decision (or many) has changed my children's lives and social skills for the worse forever...
C&T have been blessed with parents who are still madly in love with each other, parents who adore them, grandparents who love them fiercely, and handfuls of experiences and friends in cities all over...
so...what have your kids been blessed with? what failures on your part has God used to write a better story for them?

"hello, my name is sarah and I am a mommy-guiltaholic"
"hi sarah"

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

keith darling, i miss you

is that you keith? i can barely make you out in the tiny photo i copied/pasted of you!!
oooooh keith....how i miss you, and now my internet connection is pretty shabby, so, i can't even watch you online....oooooh, those were the days, when I could record you and watch you over and over...our late nights discussing amazing finds and inspiring one another are over...oh sadness :o(



dear readers,
let me introduce you to my BFF (after matt), keith. fabulous keith johnson. well, his job is, at least...and, i must say, i think he's pretty fab from all of the time i've spent with him...well, not WITH him per se...but viewing this fine fella, who has my DREAM JOB, via the sundance channel...so, anyone who has my dream job HAS to be pretty great!! and, quite honestly, I know that keith and I would totally hit it off...we'd be great friends if given the chance....ahhhh, if only Matt and I could accompany keith on one of his ventures...such dreams.
My sweet husband discovered and introduced me to keith one evening as i slept soundly on our pink sofa beside him, he told me he had a surprise for me, and what a great surprise it was!! it was a pretty usual evening for us...we "retired" to the sofa to have a coffee or a tea and eat some cookie or something i had baked and to watch a little something something on the telly....however, each night, i literally retire...i ALWAYS curl up and unintentionally snooze...so, as I was snoozing that sweet husband of mine recorded MAN SHOPS GLOBE for me...i was hooked!! it's only the BEST show ever.
http://www.sundancechannel.com/man-shops-globe/ here's a link...unless you've already followed the link that i've had on my sidebar all year...check out good ole keith...you'll love him as much as I do.
love, sarah